Posted on 4/01/125 by Bob Magee
Rhea Ripley, Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai, Bianca Belair, Logan
Paul and cronies, Jey and Jimmy Uso, and Gunther were shown
arriving at The O2 in London.
There was a long shot of the sold-out crowd. There were
dueling John Cena chants before his music even hit.
John Cena and Cody Rhodes segment
Cena entered first, and he soaked in the chants for 30
seconds until Cody Rhodes’ music hit. They stood around for
a minute while the fans sang for Cody.
Rhodes knew Cena would try to “cook” him and wanted to know
where he would start. Maybe it would be his lisp, maybe it
would be Stardust. The fans chanted for Stardust, and Rhodes
said it must bother Cena that Stardust was his final
WrestleMania opponent.
Maybe Cena would insult him for having an arm tattoo on his
neck. (Rhodes paused again for the fans singing his name.)
Maybe Cena would insult him for being booed in the company
he created.
Rhodes knew Cena wouldn’t bite on any of that. Rhodes might
even be struggling with the idea that Superman was dead.
(Rhodes paused again for dueling Cena chants.) Rhodes said
Cena has lied to the fans the past two weeks. His words did
not match his actions.
Rhodes recalled riding with Cena years ago, and the two of
them sang in the car together. Rhodes knew Cena cared about
the fans. He wanted Cena to really explain why.
Cena said he would not reduce himself and punch down to
Rhodes’ level. Cena wouldn’t protect Rhodes because he’s
been protected long enough. Cena wouldn’t cook Rhodes—he
would bury him. Just like he buried everyone else.
Cena said the fans accused him of burying other talent. Cena
was the talent. He buried mediocrity. Cena didn’t care about
Rhodes’ lisp or failures. Rhodes manipulated his way to the
top, and his ego outmatched his ability. Rhodes rode the
coattails of Cena’s success.
Cena was so great that WWE was able to hand the heartbeat of
the organization over to his chauffeur. Rhodes was nothing
more than a slimy pickpocket who thought he could run the
kingdom because he stole the blueprint.
It disgusted Cena to see Rhodes with the belt. Rhodes rode
with him for years and stole every secret. Rhodes wanted to
be undeniable, but he was still underwhelming. Cena tried to
tell him that he needed to be authentic because the fans
could see through phony. Rhodes didn’t listen, and it
showed. He was too perfect and too rehearsed.
Cena said Rhodes relied on the fans signing his name and his
song. He was like the Pied Piper because all he ever did was
make a catchy tune trick these people into liking
mediocrity. Rhodes didn’t look like Cena, he didn’t act like
Cena, and he didn’t work like Cena. But Rhodes didn’t look
like, act like, or work like himself, either. He was a
generic mix of every superstar and TV show he ever loved. He
was still a kid who was afraid of public speaking. Nowadays,
that was enough to trick these people.
Cena worked too hard to make the belt a symbol of mastery to
have it paraded around by a paint-by-numbers nepo baby that
was so into himself that he had his wrestling gimmick
tattooed for the world to see. The problem with Rhodes’
tattoo wasn’t its location; it was that it made him look
like a fan, like everyone else.
Cena advised him to go to Fanatics and buy a toy belt after
WrestleMania, because the last real champion was taking the
title home forever. He would expose Rhodes as an errand boy
who got lucky.
Rhodes said Cena might be right. Maybe he was chosen. But it
was the fans who chose him. Rhodes wondered if Cena could
say the same. Was it the fans or one guy in an office who
isn’t here anymore, and we can’t talk about it.
Rhodes was indeed a wrestler like his father, and if anyone
was a company creation, it was Cena. People were afraid of
Cena on the mic but Rhodes wasn’t because Cena had more dick
on the mic than in his jorts. Cena insulted him for acting
like a 16-year-old taking public speaking lessons, but Cena
was the one hanging out with Zac Efron, wishing he were 16.
Cena created so many disenfranchised fans that he made it
easy for Rhodes to pack up and go elsewhere. He told Cena
not to act like he left the business better than when he
found it. And between the two of them, Cena was the one who
sold out to The Rock.
Rhodes said Cena was still his hero—but he was also a piece
of shit.
Cena said Rhodes’ brain was full of feces and not facts. He
worked 100 times harder than Rhodes, and he was never
protected from the fans or a superstar taking their best
shot at him. Everyone took their strongest swing when he was
in the ring, and no one has ever been worthy, so he just did
it all himself.
Cena always made things great, no matter what garbage they
gave him. Rhodes had to leave because his best couldn’t wipe
Cena’s ass. Cena made empires for billionaires, while Rhodes
only stole money from their kids. Cena dropped the mic.
Before Cena could leave the ring, Rhodes wanted him to know
one thing: never once have the fans chanted at him, “You
can’t wrestle.”
Cena acted offended by this and re-entered the ring. He
backed down before attempting a cheap shot, but Rhodes put
him down with a Cross Rhodes. The fans chanted for Rhodes.
********
Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, and Wade Barrett are tonight’s
announcers.
As New Day awaited their opponents, Adam Pearce informed
them that they would be wrestling the New Catch Republic—
Pete Dunne and the returning Tyler Bate.
Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods defeated Pete Dunne & Tyler
Bate (8:43)
Dunne and Bate got a fair amount of offence in, but New Day
won after hitting UpUpDownDown on Dunne.
Obviously, Dunne and Bate wrestled as babyfaces here in
London, but this wasn’t much of a return for Bate. We’ll see
if they drop the whole Butch stuff with Dunne if he’s
reuniting with Bate full time.
— After the match, Cathy Kelley asked New Day if they
thought they deserved a title match. Woods asked her if she
was slow. They said they deserved a title shot, and they
wanted it now. The War Raiders (the champions) entered and
faced off with New Day.
********
Jey and Jimmy Uso met backstage. Jimmy told Jey he wanted to
take on Gunther alone tonight. Jey said he would feel better
if he were out there. Jimmy said Gunther was a big deal—but
so were they. There was no Ring General tonight. Gunther was
beatable. Jimmy would beat him tonight, and Jey would beat
him at WrestleMania to become champion. They shook hands,
but Jey pulled him in close and earnestly told him to be
careful.
********
Jackie Redmond interviewed Ludwig Kaiser during a break. He
wants a match at Mania, and if Pearce doesn’t give him one,
he may have to take matters into his own hands.
There was a video package of Triple H beating Mick Foley in
a street fight at the 2000 Royal Rumble. They plugged the
Hall of Fame.
Kate Nash (from Netflix’s GLOW), Charlie Brooker (Black
Mirror), and UFC’s Michael Page were shown in the crowd.
********
World Heavyweight Champion Gunther defeated Jimmy Uso in a
non-title match (8:37)
Jimmy hit suicide dives and went for an Uso splash, but
Gunther got his knees up. Jimmy was able to follow with a
superplex and an Uso splash for a nearfall. Gunther chopped
him out of mid-air outside the ring and clotheslined him.
Gunther worked him over during a break, but Jimmy fought
back after the break with strikes, superkicks and a German
suplex. Gunther cut him off with a dropkick and powerbomb.
Gunther seemed to have it won, but he lifted Jimmy’s
shoulders off the mat at the two count. Gunther hit a
clothesline but lifted him up again at two.
The crowd chanted, “Yeet,” but Gunther applied a sleeper
hold, and Jimmy passed out.
— Gunther placed Jimmy in the sleeper again after the match,
so Jey ran out (to his music). Jey tackled Gunther and
wildly attacked him, but Gunther quickly escaped through the
crowd.
During a break, Jimmy heavily sold damage from the sleeper
as Jey and medical staff checked on him. As the timer for
the commercial break counted down from ten, the crowd began
to buzz, so you could tell something was about to happen.
They came back from break as Jey helped Jimmy walk toward
the aisle, but Gunther attacked them both from behind.
Security tried to stop Gunther, but he powerbombed one of
them onto the steel steps.
Gunther ziptied Jey to the ring ropes and chucked Jimmy into
the barricade. Gunther held up his title belt and taunted
Jey with it. The fans called Gunther a wanker. Jimmy got to
the apron, but Gunther hit him with the title belt.
As Gunther continued to taunt Jey, Jimmy reemerged with a
bloody face. Gunther powerbombed him as Jey desperately
tried to rip the zip tie. Gunther wiped Jimmy’s blood over
his body and tasted some of it (before quickly spitting it
out).
Gunther placed bloody Jimmy in a sleeper again as the
announcers wondered where the hell help was. Officials
finally stepped in and stopped Gunther.
(The match itself was ok, but this was a strong post-match
angle that will hopefully—and finally—give Jey the
motivation he needs.)
********
There was a video package of the SmackDown angle with CM
Punk, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins. Cole said, “So, what
is the favour? Hopefully, we find out soon.”
Judgment Day met backstage. Finn Bálor and Dominik Mysterio
were back on the same page. Bálor sarcastically offered his
condolences to Raquel Rodriguez for losing her IC title
match last week. Bálor said he would bring home the IC title
to Judgment Day.
********
Bron Breakker entered during a break. Everyone else entered
live.
Finn Bálor & Dominik Mysterio (w/Carlito) defeated Penta &
Intercontinental Champion Bron Breakker (9:10)
Penta suffered his first pinfall loss in WWE.
Penta hit a dive and, believe it or not, that led to a
break. Judgment Day used a referee distraction to take
control. Penta gave Dom a backstabber after the break and
made the hot tag to Bron, who handed out suplexes to both
opponents.
Bálor and Dom set up for a double vertical suplex on Bron,
but Bron hoisted them up and gave them a very impressive-
looking double suplex instead. Bron hoisted Bálor on his
shoulders (for a Steinerizer), and Penta brought him down
with an elevated slingblade, but Dom broke up the cover. As
cool as all this was, it led to a somewhat convoluted
finish.
Penta went for a Canadian Destroyer on Bálor, but Dom
grabbed him from the apron. The referee just stood by and
watched because he knew this was leading to the planned
finish. Bron set up for a spear, and Dom warned Bálor it was
coming. Dom then shoved Penta into Bálor, and that knocked
Bálor aside, so Bron speared Penta by accident instead.
Dom dropkicked Bron out of the ring, and Bálor hit Penta
with Coup de Grace for the pinfall win.
********
Chad Gable told Pearce he was impressed with El Grande
Americano and would love to wrestle him one day. Gable was
still sick, though, and couldn’t compete. He produced a
doctor’s note. Pearce said that was too bad because they
were in Gable’s hometown of Minneapolis next week.
Gable wanted to wrestle next week and said he would be fine,
but Pearce said he should recover. El Grande Americano would
be in a match instead. Gable was disappointed because he
still wanted to wrestle in his hometown (instead of his
alter ego), but was caught in a lie and couldn’t do anything
about it.
As Gable was about to leave, he bumped into Alpha Academy.
He referred to them as clowns and idiots before leaving.
Maxxine Dupri told Pearce that she spoke to Natalya, and she
had ideas about the tag division.
********
Redmond interviewed Karrion Kross (with Scarlett) during the
break. He was interested to see which version of AJ Styles
we would see tonight.
Penta confronted Bron backstage and called him stupid.
Officials quickly stepped in and pulled Penta away. Bron
told him to watch his mouth.
********
AJ Styles and Logan Paul segment
Logan Paul was supposed to call out Styles, but Styles
entered first. Styles was tired of waiting in the back, and
he called out Paul, who entered to a ton of heat. Paul said
if he wanted to make them wait, they would, because they
were sheep. The fans told him to shut the f*ck up.
Paul said he’s had a change of heart. He was a dad now. A
girl-dad. He wanted to teach his daughter the art of
forgiveness, so he forgave Styles for what he did to him at
Madison Square Garden. He warned Styles not to try it again.
Styles said he had a daughter, too, and he forgave Paul as
well. Paul didn’t understand. Styles forgave him for being
the biggest douchebag to ever step foot in WWE. Styles said
Paul bragged about his success and money, but the fans
didn’t care about that. They wanted to see what he would
sacrifice in the ring for them. Styles said Paul might be
talented, but that could only take him so far. Styles
wondered what he would do with all that talent.
Paul said he would ask for Styles’ advice, but you should
never take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places
with. Styles warned him not to write a cheque he couldn’t
cash. Paul asked if that was a threat. Styles said he was in
his gear, but Paul said he didn’t fight for free. Paul
insulted the fans for being broke and accused one fan of
spending their life savings on a front row seat. The crowd
told him to be quiet again.
Paul tried a cheap shot, but Styles saw it coming. However,
Paul used the middle rope to crotch Styles and laid him out
with the Paulverizer.
********
Redmond interviewed Lyra Valkyria. Valkyria appreciated
Bayley’s help last week, but she wanted to prove that she
could stand on her own. Bayley is the only person who has
beaten her since she won the title, and it was driving her
crazy. They would have a rematch next week with the IC title
on the line.
********
Next week on Raw in Minneapolis (regular start time of 8 pm
ET):
Lyra Valkyria vs. Bayley for the Women’s Intercontinental
title
El Grande Americano in action
Seth Rollins appears
********
Bálor was pumped up over his win and celebrated with
Judgment Day. Bálor was excited after pinning Penta and
getting the better of Breakker again. Bálor left to talk to
Pearce about getting a title shot.
They were all on the same page until Liv Morgan noticed
Bálor was taking all the credit. After Bálor left, Morgan
told Dom that Bálor had already lost to Breakker, while Dom
had not. Morgan said she would talk to Pearce when Bálor was
done. Dom was unsure about all of this (because he doesn’t
want to piss off Bálor).
*******
Women’s World Championship: IYO SKY vs. Rhea Ripley [with
Special Guest Referee Bianca Belair] ended in a double
disqualification (14:41)
This was bad.
There were spots early on where Belair had to pull each
woman off the other while in the ropes because they wouldn’t
listen. During a break, Ripley slammed Sky and got a two
count on a cover (but we didn’t see it because the screen
went back as they returned from break).
Sky hit a suicide dive following the break. Ripley had Sky
on her shoulders outside the ring, and Sky went for a
poisonrana, but Ripley slipped and just fell over. They both
avoided a count-out by entering the ring at the same time.
Sky took over and hit a double foot stomp. Ripley went to
the middle rope, and Sky tried the poisonrana again, but
Ripley blocked it and hit an avalanche Samoan drop. At least
that’s what it looked like. It was meant to be a crucifix
bomb by Sky, but it didn’t look like it at all. Sky covered
Ripley for two. The crowd played along and applauded.
Sky tried a flying crossbody, but Ripley headbutted her out
of midair for a two. They traded counters until Ripley hit a
Razor’s Edge and a shining wizard for a nearfall.
They traded counters again until Sky got backed into Belair.
You could see what was coming. Sky ducked, and Ripley booted
Belair out of the ring.
Sky tried a cradle on the distracted Ripley. The crowd was
too eager to react, and they loudly counted the fall with
Belair down, but it was never meant to be a false finish
because Ripley got right up. Ripley hit Sky with a Rip-tide
moments later, and the crowd loudly counted to twelve with
Belair still down.
Belair got to her feet, and Ripley told her it should be
over. Belair entered the ring to count the fall, but Sky
kicked out. Ripley argued with Belair and put her hands on
her, so Belair shoved her hand aside. Ripley attacked Sky in
the ropes, so Belair pulled her away. Ripley smacked Belair.
Ripley turned around and ducked upon seeing Sky flying off
the ropes, and Sky hit Belair with a missile dropkick by
mistake, knocking her out of the ring again. Ripley decked
Sky from behind, which didn’t look good either.
Belair got to her feet and called the match off because she
had enough. They announced a double DQ.
— Ripley attacked Belair, and they brawled until Sky wiped
them out with a dive. Sky attacked Ripley before Belair
attacked Sky.
This led to Ripley giving both women Rip-tides. The crowd
chanted, “One more time,” so Ripley gave Belair another one
off the middle rope. Ripley posed with the belt, and the
crowd cheered.
Barrett put over Ripley as a deserving title contender, and
the crowd did their part to play along, but this was an
awful setup.