AS I SEE IT 10/31: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, and a moronic skit

AS I SEE IT
Bob Magee
Pro Wrestling: Between the Sheets
PWBTS.com

Forget Katie Vick.

Forget Mae Young "birthing" a hand.

WWE may well have topped both of them for sheer stupidity and tastelessness.

Last Monday night, WWE proceeded to show its viewers "Jim Ross's recent colon surgery" on a skit during Monday Night RAW.

McMahon first came out to the live Fresno, CA crowd, and said that it was traditional when someone has surgery, as has happened during numerous knee or neck surgeries of WWE talent in the past, that WWE sends cameras to tape the event.

McMahon "warned the crowd" about the footage saying it was graphic because it would show a blockage of Ross's bowel and colon. McMahon then ran "the video of Ross's surgery".

The tape featured Vince McMahon dressed as "Dr. Hiney", talking to his patient JR. "Dr. Hiney" kept listening to Ross’ intestines, and heard "Boomer Sooner", followed by the flushing of a toilet and other potty humor level sounds.

Then, a overly endowed nurse named "Slobberknockers" put lubrication on "Dr. Hiney's" arm. He then removed from "Ross's colon", using everything from toilet plungers, jackhammers and the jaws of life, a bottle of Jim Ross’s famous BBQ sauce, a football, a Steve Austin action figure, the other hand of Mae Young (now WHY did McMahon want people to remember this?), an plastic owl, and a bag of goldfish; all accompanied by the taped voice of Jim Ross periodically screaming “Bah Gawd!” and other Jim Ross standards.

"Dr. Hiney" then pulled out a mannequin head with a cowboy hat, and said that he had solved the problem of having Jim Ross's head being up his ass."Dr. Hiney" concluded by saying that he needed after the operation to "release some tension" and rubbed his face in the nurse’s chest.

If seeing it once wasn't bad enough, WWE then decided to feature the skit on WWE.com for anyone who may have missed this nonsense that wouldn't have even rated as 2:00 am entertainment at your local college fraternity house.

All this made for a really tasteful skit, given that Ross had mentioned the following only hours before on WWE.com:

“The biggest win from this whole thing was coming out without there being any cancer,” said Ross from his home in Oklahoma. “There was a period for about four days where we didn’t know what to expect.”

Additionally, the skit came on the very day that it became public that IWA Mid-South Wrestling wrestler Rollin Hard was diagnosed with colon cancer, a cancer that may well have spread to his lymphatic system.

The following was posted on the IWA Mid-South Wrestling message board by Ian Rotten's wife, Patti:

"Ian and myself found out last night that our dear friend Rollin' is in the hospital. The doctors found cancer and had to remove 2/3 of his colon. Right now, we don't know if the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes or anywhere else. Ian has spoken to Rollin' and his wife Angie. They told him the doctors have been doing tests and they should know more tomorrow.

Rollin and Angie have been part of our personal and wrestling family for a very long time, pretty much since the very beginning of IWA. To say we are devastated doesnt even begin to cover it.

PLEASE... if everyone would say extra prayers for Rollin' and his family at this time. They need to be kept in everyones thoughts and prayers.

If anyone would like to send get well cards or anything like that, you are welcome to send them to the IWA Post Office box. I will make sure they receive everything you send.

The address is:

Rollin Hard
c/o IWA Mid South Wrestling
PO Box 21476
Louisville, KY 40221-0476."

A subsequent message from Jim Fannin of IWA Mid-South Wrestling confirmed that doctors found cancer and had to remove 2/3 of Rollin Hard's colon; and that the cancer has spread into his lymph nodes and he will have to undergo 6 months of chemotherapy treatments to recover.

Wrestling skits on colon cancer are sure funny, aren't they?

Even if the situation with Rollin' Hard hadn't happened...I cannot for the life of me understand why Vince McMahon would want to air such nonsense only weeks into his return to USA Network. The whole skit was juvenile, and it's embarassing to admit to non-wrestling fans that I actually watched.

It also isn't the first time where WWE has demonstrated an anal fixation. In another skit about two years ago, Hurricane (wearing a paper HHH match) had a "Doctor" pull various items out of "HHH's" back end.

Look, wrestling doesn't have to be presented as the eighth holy sacrament. Some juvenile humor that's actually funny is fine. I admit to getting a kick out of the old DX skits...many of which were juvenile as hell when you think about it. But most were funny. So was the "Team 3D funeral" that aired on TNA Impact weeks ago, but I loved it.

But even without the circumstances of Jim Ross's situation, there was little, if anything, that was actually funny in this skit. It struck me as a bad attempt to do Howard Stern style level humor. At least Stern gets paid for the ads that run on his show.

In other news, Smart Mark Video has put on sale the DVD for the Chris Cash Memorial "Down With Sickness 4 Ever" show, which was held September 10 at the ECW Arena in Philadelphia, PA to memorialize Christopher "Chris Ca$h" Bauman, who was killed August 18 as the result of a motorcycle accident near his home in Glassboro, NJ.

Matches included:

  • Andy Sumner vs. Danny Havoc

  • Battle Royal

  • Eddie Kingston and B-Boy vs. vs. Adam Flash and The Messiah

  • John Zandig Open Challenge

  • Tables Match
    Jon Dahmer vs. Ian Knoxx vs. GQ

  • Ladder Match
    Ruckus vs. Derek Frazier vs. Nate Webb vs. Niles Young

    Bonus footage includes a November 2, 2002 Ladder Match with Cash vs. Ruckus vs. Sonjay Dutt, the Cage of Death 6 ladder match with Cash vs. Joker; as well as wrestlers remembrances of Cash and a Tribute Music Video aired on the video screen at the show (as well as at the funeral).

    The DVD is available for $20 with sales benefitting the Bauman family.

    To purchase the DVD, go to Smart Mark Video.com.

    As I've been doing in recent columns, I'd like my readers, wherever they may live, to take some time and consider how they might help the victims of Hurricane Katrina and Wilma. The various charities listed below can receive donations online through the Network for Good portal.

    To donate cash by telephone:

  • American Red Cross (800) HELP NOW/(800) 435-7669 English; (800) 257-7575 Spanish
  • America's Second Harvest (800) 344-8070

    To donate cash or volunteer:

  • Adventist Community Services -- (800) 381-7171
  • Catholic Charities, USA -- (703) 549-1390
  • Christian Disaster Response -- (941) 956-5183/(941) 551-9554
  • Christian Reformed World Relief Committee -- (800) 848-5818
  • Church World Service -- (800) 297-1516
  • Convoy of Hope -- (417) 823-8998
  • Lutheran Disaster Response -- (800) 638-3522
  • Mennonite Disaster Service -- (717) 859-2210
  • Nazarene Disaster Response -- (888) 256-5886
  • Presbyterian Disaster Assistance -- (800) 872-3283
  • Salvation Army -- (800) SAL-ARMY/(800) 725-2769
  • Southern Baptist Convention -- Disaster Relief (800) 462-8657, ext. 6440
  • United Methodist Committee on Relief -- (800) 554-8583

    Until next time....

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    If you have comments/questions, or if you'd like to add the AS I SEE IT column to your website, I can be reached by e-mail at bobmagee1@hotmail.com)